Perfect

The voices in your head.
when you eat,
when you dress,
when you walk,
when you study.
They are always there.
And yet, somehow, I seem to fight them off.
How? Maybe it's not really me fighting-- but another
and then they disappear and FADE--
one by one.

To the voices that say that I am too fat,
I run.
To the voices that say that I am not attractive,
I dress up.
To the voices that say that I am not authentic,
I follow through.
To the voices that say that I'm not smart enough,
I study harder.

But even then-- my pathetic trials do not seem to
completely ward off the voices.

To the voices that I combat each and every day,
To the voices that force me into making up my list of goals,
The substance of my to-do quota and my chores,
To the voices that drive me to one time achieve
and another time act irrationally,
To the voices that say that I am not enough
that I will never be enough...

I say this...

I haven't the strength on certain
days to surrender to God-- to let him help me create a list of goals.
To let Him take that old list and rip it to shreds.
To let Him mold me into a new person.

But I thank my lucky stars that He has the strength to guide me in ways
that are level and smooth--
and I am so lucky that it is all Him that helps me to achieve anything--
and then it is all Him
when he is there grounding me once again.

-Girl On the Crazy Rise