My Own Little World

There are hectic times in life-- good and bad and all of us deal with these times differently. Quite literally, I have-- as a Jayhawk might-- landed in one of the most gorgeous places on the planet earth. I feel so lucky to be here with so many friendly and supportive people! Friends are easy to meet and come by-- cute boys are found almost anywhere you look, and the sunrises and sunsets are unparalleled. Social Events are played on a continuous loop and clubs and programming is never sparse.

Hectic with classes and homework and meetings and new things to discover. I can't quite put into words the feeling I am experiencing. It hurts in a way because I feel like I have left everything authentic and true behind--- my structured life, my lifelong friends, and my family. But, I'm jumping into a sea of a new life. I want to keep myself throughout all of it... and I think I might just be able to hold onto myself as I run through Tornado Alley. I love the tornado-- I love the crazy... because it is a good kind of crazy. I have to make time for homework that I truly want to do and I have to make time for people I truly want to meet up to and talk with. I have to make time to live my dream and study my dream.

It is like there is this optimist inside of me that has just been waiting for this. And it's like I'm rediscovering myself in a way that makes me really think about what I'm here for and what I want to do with my life.

I feel like I'm growing. And sometimes growing pains hurt. And sometimes it is just really really confusing. But it's all I can do but to grin and bear it. ☺

I think that there are really only a few true loves in my life...I know that one of them is definitely NASA...and KU... KU has really swept me off of my feet.

I thank God that I was blessed with this opportunity-- yet I feel like I can even get closer to God, my Guardian, my Warrior, my Protector, my Consoler, my Comforter, and my knight in shining armor.

As the song plays, "Change is a direct result of all things..."

Love Forever and Ever,
Writer on the Rise

Cling On

Arguably, one of the greatest feelings on the planet Earth is the feeling of being held on to, clung to-- I'm not describing it quite right though. It is the feeling of being the world to someone else-- even if it just for a split second or a split moment. And in that moment, it means the world to you that you can be the world to somebody else. It is a wholly infinite feeling... and it is rare when you get a truly authentic hug.

There was one day, when I was teaching parent tot swim lessons... a little girl named Kya-- not more than two years old waddled up to me as I knelt beside her, soaked with pool water, (looking disgusting) in my swim suit. She didn't say a word. She just threw her arms around me and laid her head in the crook of my neck, on my shoulder. And we just stayed there. For seconds, minutes... I thought that someone would yell eventually... a swim instructor, my boss, a lifeguard. But no. They understood. And for that moment in time, I realized that by being the world for Kya in this one moment, I felt needed and important, and loved. It sounds ridiculous, but I truly believe that in that one moment that little girl gave to me what nobody else could.

As I leave for college, I feel more and more these moments of infinite calm and inner peace when I hug my good friends and bid them adieu. From Washington to Illinois to Michigan to Kansas. There are so many miles and miles in between. Those last hugs mean so much more.

I will miss my good friends here-- it is always a challenge to find quality friends all over again and start from scratch. I am confident that I will keep these lifelong friends though and hopefully share moments where they can mean the world to me, and I to them.

-Girl Beyond The Rise