Game Changers

There are windows of time in everybody's life that I like to call 'game changers'. These periods of time, however long, are characterized by large leaps forward or large leaps backward. These leaps are like the chutes and ladders on the game board of life. Circumstances, environment, support systems, and life as we were accustomed to, break down and rebuild sometimes stronger--sometimes weaker than they were before. Examples of these 'game changers' are: when a close family member passes away, when you get a new job at a new company, when you move somewhere else, when you are diagnosed with that life threatening disease, when you do something stupid that hurts someone else badly, when you make a decision to marry or divorce somebody, take that first swig, or hit, or snort, or cut, or when you step into that chapel for the first time. Everyone's 'game changers' are different and what may seem like a micro-'game changer' to one person may be a huge 'game changer' to another.

In my life, I believe that I have experienced four true 'game changers'. The first was when I moved from my home in Wilmette, IL to Carmel, IN-- I learned how to pack up my belongings, my feelings, and my complaints and get going. I learned how to deal with 3 hour car trips every weekend. I learned how to hold my mother when she cried. I learned how to hide when my parents fought. I learned how to stick with my brother when my parents were unavailable. I learned how to make friends elsewhere and I learned how to learn OLD SCHOOL and got my first C in school-- it was in English. Ironically enough, it was in Carmel IN that I first learned how to swim. And it was there that I learned how to be an adult. All of this-- learned at the age of 9.

The second game changer that I recognize was confirmation. The night I was confirmed, I remember feeling so moved by the sermon that I literally started crying my eyes out. I remember that night being told-- as a young 14 yr old-- that I would always have somewhere to call 'home'.

The third game changer I remember was when I started to self-harm. It was at the end of my sophomore year-- right around the time of my birthday and I remember wearing a jean jacket to my 16th birthday dinner and having a bandage wrapped around my wrist. I remember cutting into my hand that summer when I was lifeguarding. I remember struggling with razor blades, scissors, and knives throughout my junior and senior years of high school. I have worked to develop safer, more effective coping mechanisms since then but I still struggle with the temptation to self-injure occasionally.

The fourth and final game changer I have is when I received the opportunity to intern at the NASA Glenn Research Center. I have a whole blog about that too-- but what that really did for me-- at the age of 17, it taught me to love myself and to push myself outside my own comfort zone. That summer, I gained a whole new attitude, outlook, and appreciation for life and what it has to offer! Without that opportunity, I'm not sure that I would be where I'm at now.

I firmly believe that I'm due for another 'game changer' in about a month: college. I'm nervous and scared-- but I am so ready to make the most out of this very unique opportunity.

Ready to Hit the Ground Running and Do It Right,
Girl Beyond The Rise

The

There's That Moment

There's this moment-- and it happens to all of us-- at different times in our lives. It's hard to describe. It's that moment of huge eyes and panic, brief, silent, hysteria, and a fearful heart. It happens to the best, brightest, and beautiful.

It is the moment right when you are about to jump off of the high dive, or right when you feel like your feet can't touch the ground in the deep pool. It's the moment little kids have when they are learning how to swim-- they are half drowning with eyes and mouth barely out of the water. It's the moment when you've run too far and feel like you are going to hurl. It's the moment where you've gone to bed at 3am and have woken up at 5am and then have to get through a school day. It's the moment where you know that you have screwed up badly and can't make it right. If you've ever been in a vehicle accident of any kind, it's the moment right before collision. It's the moment before you get a test back that you either aced or failed. It's the moment before you have to go on stage to perform or accept. It's the moment before that long race. It's that moment right before you have to take those solo steps into a new life and a new world where you are on your own-- college.

Signed Maturely,
Girl Beyond The Rise