Questions from a Dry Observer

The 5 Ws of my new job as a lifeguard at the YMCA

1. Why do adults who cannot swim take a class entitled "Deep Water"?
2. Why do swimmers live and die by split lane swimming instead of circle swimming?
3. How many noodles does it take to keep a 4 yr old afloat? Certainly not 10...
4. When is it ok to curse out the person who is there to make sure that you are safe?
5. What type of person gets up at 4am to jump into a pool of water with strangers?
6. When is it ok not to have essential life-saving equipment in the pool area?
7. Where do the supervisors hide?
8. What happens when nobody comes to relieve you for 2 hours?
9. How many lifeguards does it take to save a life?
10. What is proper pool etiquette?

Answers:

1. Because the music is good and they want to sing along karaoke style to the oldies.
2. Because common sense is only for the swim team.
3. Apparently all of the noodles in the facility aren't enough for this squirt.
4. According to patrons, any time will do. They are 'entitled'.
5. Monsters.
6. Always. Lifeguards wouldn't know where to find equipment even if it were there.
7. Some type of unknown, un-introduced break room.
8. You stand or sit in the pool area and pray to God somebody shows up eventually.
9. Unclear. All lifeguards have 'passed' the test but are never tested.
10. Come late-- leave early. Take breaks at all costs- screw the rotation.

I need to get back to NASA-- NASA pack will be my summer project. Instructing starts next week. Can't wait.

Until the summer job picks up,
Pool Girl Beyond Some Kind Of Rise